How to Collaborate Effectively with Your Child's Teacher
Valarie Algee, M.Ed.

As a parent, you know your child best and, therefore, play a critical role in his/her education.  Research indicates that children whose parents are actively involved in their education demonstrate improved grades and test scores, increased academic engagement, more positive attitudes about school, and enhanced self-esteem. If your child has learning or behavioral difficulties, the importance of this collaboration increases as having to talk and work with your child's teacher(s) typically becomes a necessary and frequent occurrence. Unfortunately, however, conversations between parents and teachers can often become contentions, as emotions may run high and points of view might differ. It is important to remember that you are your child's strongest advocate and an equal partner in his/her education. With that in mind, following are some tips for establishing and maintaining a positive collaborative relationship with your child's teacher:

Get to know your child's teacher prior to, or early in, the school year and help him/her to get to know your child and family.

• Develop and foster a positive, supportive, and collaborative relationship.
• Share your child's strengths as well as any concerns and goals.
• Be non-threatening.

Engage in open and regular communication with your child's teacher and school.

• Utilize quick informal notes, email, and phone calls.
• Share progress reports of your child, including accomplishments and setbacks regardless of how seemingly small.
• Get into the routine of reviewing homework and providing feedback to the teacher.
• Be specific in your communication.  For example, "It took Johnny 2 ½ hours to write the first paragraph," instead of, "It took Johnny forever to do his homework".

Spend time in your child's classroom and school.

• Observe.
• Volunteer.
• Attend school events.

Plan and strategize with your child's teacher and instructional team.

• Utilize a team approach; share common goals and view each other as equals.
• Work together towards solutions.
• Maintain a "we" attitude.

Share with your child's teacher(s) information and resources regarding issues your child is dealing with.

• In keeping with the collaborative spirit, share current research and findings.
• Photocopy or email articles including effective learning strategies.
• Support your requests, suggestions, and opinions regarding your child's learning program with facts.

Maintain consistency between learning environments and home.

• In the interest of helping your child generalize what he/she is learning, relay consistent messages to your child, use similar instructional approaches, and employ uniform rewards/consequences.
• See that routines and organizational systems are the same.

Keep detailed documentation, records, or logs of meetings and communication with your child's teacher(s) and school. 

• Put everything in writing.
• Leave a paper trail.
• Include agreed upon plans of action and timelines.

Show appreciation for what your child's teacher does and the efforts he/she is making.

• Say "Thank you".  Send letters, along with a copy to the principal or supervisor.
• Respect the teacher's schedule.
• Remember your child's teacher cares about your child as well.

As your child's parent and most important advocate, it is vital that you are a key player on his/her educational team. This often requires effort to establish a positive and productive collaborative relationship with your child's teacher and school. With that in mind, it is important to remember that, similar to any other interpersonal relationship, effective collaboration between parents and teachers begins with mutual understanding and respect, which can be launched with some very practical and concrete steps.

For more information:

Learning Disabilities Association of America
Back to School: Working with Teachers and Schools - Helping Your Child Succeed in School

School Family
Teacher's Tips: How Parents Can Help

LD OnLine
Building and Maintaining a Good Relationship with Your Child's Teacher

GreatSchools
Parents' Top Tips for Partnering with Your Child's Teacher

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Positive Behavior Support
Erin LeFevour, M.Ed.

Positive Behavior Support (PBS) is a proactive approach to behavioral remediation that is aimed at identifying challenging and negative behaviors and replacing them with pro-social skills. Parents can play a large role in fostering positive behavior in their child by being supportive of school policies and expectations, as well as having a positive behavior system in place at home.

The PBS approach is proactive in that it includes developing a hypothesis for the function of the negative behavior and creating an environment that supports positive behavior. The use of this approach reduces the need for aversive interventions such as punishment or consequences because it is focused on positive reinforcement (e.g., earning stickers rather than missing recess). PBS can be implemented at the individual or school-wide level as it as it is successful with a wide range of students with different behaviors in different environments. PBS at the school-wide level is called "primary intervention." At this level, the intervention is more proactive, promoting a positive school climate and preventing problems from occurring in the first place. "Secondary prevention" targets a smaller group, at the classroom-wide level. These students may require direct instruction of social problem solving skills. Lastly, the "tertiary prevention" level targets the individual, where student-specific interventions are required. At this level, the school may wish to conduct a Functional Behavioral Assessment (FBA) to determine the predictors, consequences, and functions of the behavior.

Parents play an important part in their child's academic success. When a parent is involved in the educational planning of his or her child, it increases the student's opportunity for success. Parent participation in school-wide positive behavior support initiatives is growing (please see www.pbis.org/families.htm for more information).

Some ways parents can become involved in positive behavior in the school environment include the following:

• Help teach your child the importance of school expectations.
• Uphold these same school expectations in the home environment.
• Volunteer in school activities.
• Celebrate your child's achievements.
• Engage in discussions about positive reinforcements earned at school (or not earned).

Positive Behavior Support is not just for the school environment. Parents can implement this approach in the home environment to create a positive climate for the family.  First identify a target problem behavior, then determine a positive replacement behavior, develop a hypothesis as to why the behavior is occurring, teach new skills that achieve the same results the problem behavior obtains, change the environment, and reward positive behaviors.

This process is illustrated in the following example:

• Identify a target problem behavior:
• Johnny throws a tantrum at bedtime almost every night.

• Think about what behavior you want from Johnny:
• You want Johnny to get into bed at the determined bedtime.

• Think about reasons why Johnny might be refusing to go to bed:
• Johnny feels like he is missing out on fun family time.
• Johnny is wound up before bedtime from engaging in stimulating activities.
• Parents give a lot of attention when bedtime is refused.
• Johnny is afraid of the dark.

• Test the hypothesized reasons Johnny won't go to bed by changing routine and/or environment
• Encourage the family to engage in calming and unexciting activities around Johnny's bedtime (i.e., reading, cleaning the kitchen, homework, etc.).
• Limit Johnny's stimulating behaviors an hour before his bedtime (i.e., rather than video games or basketball, engage in drawing or reading).
• Give Johnny a lot of attention by reading with him before bedtime or singing him calming bedtime songs.
• Put a nightlight in Johnny's room.

• Teach Johnny a replacement behavior
• "Johnny, by quietly getting into bed at 8:30, you will get a good night's rest, which will help you feel better throughout the day tomorrow".

• Praise positive results with positive reinforcements
• Give Johnny verbal praise (i.e., "I am proud of you for going to bed on time.").
• Give Johnny short term reinforcements (i.e., stickers on a sticker chart).
• Give Johnny long term reinforcements (i.e., if Johnny earns 4 stickers in a week, he can have a friend over on the weekend).

*Note: visual aids, such as behavior support charts, are often helpful when working towards rewards (e.g., sticker chart).

For more information:

National Association of School Psychologists
Positive Behavioral Supports (PBS): Tips for Parents and Educators

National Association of School Psychologists
What is Positive Behavioral Support?

OSEP Technical Assistance Center on Positive Behavioral Interventions & Supports
Overview of Families and Positive Behavior Support

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Managing Life in High School
Meghan Kimpton, M.S.Ed.

Today's high school students face an unprecedented number of activities that require their attention. Students have full course loads, extra-curricular activities and community service requirements, in addition to time spent preparing for the college application process. With all of these activities, students' time for studying and homework is limited to a few short hours per day. The following questions are frequently asked by parents seeking to help their child reduce stress and accomplish goals.

My child's schedule is completely full.  How can I help them balance their time?

• Encourage your child to use a planner
• If they are resistant to writing their assignments down, suggest they store the information in the calendar program on their computer or cell phone
• Approaching a project (e.g., English essays, science projects) as one large activity rather than a collection of smaller tasks can lead to procrastination. Students should break larger assignments into manageable pieces. The smaller tasks can then be recorded on a calendar and completed as part of their daily homework.

• Make sure to schedule sleep
• The current sleep recommendations for high school students are 8.5-9.5 hours. While this may seem unrealistic with all that a typical student has to accomplish in any given day, it is crucial to get as much sleep as possible. In addition, the use of technology (e.g., computer, video games) should end 30 minutes prior to sleep.  To make that happen, it is important to plan a consistent bedtime and to adhere to it as much as possible, even for busy high school students. Well rested students are more productive students.

How can I help my child maintain an organized binder?

• The most important part of keeping an organized binder is to take things out! Having clearly marked sections for handouts, study guides, outlines, notes and homework is important.
• However, it is equally important to know when to move certain papers to a "holding file," or to discard unneeded papers entirely. At least every two weeks, students should briefly review the paper in their binders and make three piles: papers to keep, papers to save, and papers to recycle.  Keep all papers relevant to the current unit of study in the binder and store them in the appropriate sections (e.g., notes, handouts etc.). Save papers from previous units, along with the corresponding test, in a file to be kept at home. These can be retrieved later to study for exams.
• Finally, recycle any papers that are deemed unnecessary.  It may be helpful to double check your child's "recycle pile" to monitor their ability to determine the importance of various papers.

How do I set reasonable expectations for my child?  How do I help my child to have expectations for their own achievement?

The student of today is working under an extraordinary amount of pressure.  Students are taking classes and mastering content that was once the territory of college courses. 

• Parents should talk to their children about their goals (e.g., college, career) and break those goals down into mini-goals.
• Students and parents can set expectations together and then regularly have "update meetings" to check in on progress in completing tasks to meet the goals.
• It is also important to focus goals on the process of learning rather than the product.  Set a goal such as studying over time or reviewing notes on a daily basis rather than a goal of getting an "A" on a test.  These learning goals should be readily attainable.  Students need to feel they are successfully meeting their learning goals on a regular basis in order for overall motivation to increase.
• Make sure to celebrate success, even if it is small!

What can I do to encourage my child to seek help when they need it?

• The learning process is as much a journey of self discovery as it is a mastery of content.  Self-advocacy is a vital tool in school.  A student's ability and willingness to ask for help can be a large predictor of success.

• When students ask for help, it is beneficial for them to know their strengths and weaknesses and to specifically ask for assistance based on those areas.  For instance, "Mrs. X, can you help me with my English essay.  I have a lot of ideas, but I am having a hard time organizing them."  Likewise, teachers should be sensitive to the fact that some students may not be able to articulate where the breakdown is happening.  When helping a student who is seeking assistance, a teacher may want to ask questions such as, "Are you having difficulty remembering or understanding?"

My child displays test anxiety.  Are there strategies that can be helpful?

While one-time events like the SAT can cause significant anxiety for many students, regular tests and exams at school can make students anxious as well. 

• Several relaxation techniques may be helpful when attempting to reduce anxiety prior to a test or exam.  Students may need to initially practice these techniques outside of a testing situation so that they can become familiar with how to use the strategy as well as to determine which one works best for them.  In addition, students may initially need adult support (e.g., parent, teacher, learning specialist, or guidance counselor) while learning these techniques.
• Anxiety reducing strategies could be categorized into those that are action-oriented and those that are relaxation-oriented.  While the more active ways of managing anxiety (e.g., aerobic exercise, sports, or yoga) will likely be activities that a student could engage in before or after school, the relaxation-oriented activities (e.g., deep breathing, visualization, positive self-talk) might be helpful ways for students to reduce anxiety in the classroom prior to taking a test.
• Adequate test preparation can also reduce test anxiety.  Students should review their notes daily and briefly summarize the important points.  Prior to the test, they can review these summaries and identify those concepts that will require the most attention.  Students can also create sample tests and take them.  This activity allows them several opportunities to interact with the material while also providing practice in answering questions about the concepts to be covered on the test.

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